I am not the marrying type. And I hold no secret hopes of a man coming along and making a liar of me.
Thanks to an unhealthy addiction to Disney and classic movies and their happily-ever-after’s, I have fantasized of a Prince Charming (right now, I would settle for a Carey Grant or an Alexander Skarsgard type) but never have I ever dreamed of walking down an aisle in a white dress towards that Prince Charming, of the contractual agreement that generally follows such a wedding, of the white-picket-fence-and-2.5-children lifestyle.
It’s not that I dislike the institution of marriage or disbelieve in the possibility of love. I think marriage and love are beautiful for and with the right people. Whether I am one of those is what I doubt.
People who have known me since my more miniature phases believe I will eventually marry; they think I’m too much of a romantic to not fall wildly in love and marry.
I say that’s exactly why I can’t marry: I’m too much of a romantic. Whether or not it was my intent, my head and my heart have idealized love. I want nothing short of the passion of Rhett and Scarlett (“Gone with the Wind”), the meeting-of-minds of Darcy and Elizabeth (“Pride and Prejudice”), and the playfulness of Aladdin and Jasmine (“Aladdin”). In addition to all this, I crave adventure, freedom and total adoration.
How could something like that exist in real life?
But I refuse to settle for anything less and I’m not certain if even a love like my wildest dreams could entice me into marriage. My independence is too dear and vital to my being. How could I give up even a sliver of it for something, someone, a mere chance?
Thanks to an unhealthy addiction to Disney and classic movies and their happily-ever-after’s, I have fantasized of a Prince Charming (right now, I would settle for a Carey Grant or an Alexander Skarsgard type) but never have I ever dreamed of walking down an aisle in a white dress towards that Prince Charming, of the contractual agreement that generally follows such a wedding, of the white-picket-fence-and-2.5-children lifestyle.
It’s not that I dislike the institution of marriage or disbelieve in the possibility of love. I think marriage and love are beautiful for and with the right people. Whether I am one of those is what I doubt.
People who have known me since my more miniature phases believe I will eventually marry; they think I’m too much of a romantic to not fall wildly in love and marry.
I say that’s exactly why I can’t marry: I’m too much of a romantic. Whether or not it was my intent, my head and my heart have idealized love. I want nothing short of the passion of Rhett and Scarlett (“Gone with the Wind”), the meeting-of-minds of Darcy and Elizabeth (“Pride and Prejudice”), and the playfulness of Aladdin and Jasmine (“Aladdin”). In addition to all this, I crave adventure, freedom and total adoration.
How could something like that exist in real life?
But I refuse to settle for anything less and I’m not certain if even a love like my wildest dreams could entice me into marriage. My independence is too dear and vital to my being. How could I give up even a sliver of it for something, someone, a mere chance?
I appreciated your blog! It made me think about some choices I have made in my own life, good and bad. (I am still trying to figure out what really matches with me....come to think of it, maybe non-thing.)
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